Catch 22

So, in the Star Trek series, the red shirt-wearing folks are the ones who invariably die on every mission.



But what would happen if it was an away mission where they were fighting the Star Wars Storm Troopers, who seem to be unable to hit the broad-side of a barn?

:)

Lucky Penguin... Stupid Humans

TSA and Travel

I travel a lot.

This freaks me out - and it's what *I* think about when I'm sitting on the runway, hoping I successfully make it to my destination and back.

Literal Take on Me

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Embarq Advertisement for Free TV

I'm sure you've seen it or heard it. I'm talking about the Embarq advertisement for free TV.



Obviously it's a popular ad.

But what's the appeal? I simply don't know. What bugs me most, however, is the little ditty "they don't call her Queen Tut, for nothin'"

It's about her being made of gold and calling her Queen Tut. Anyone else see the problem?

RIIIIIGHT. It's King Midas who was tied to gold, not Tut! So "Queen Tut" doesn't make any sense at all. Even the fact that King Tut was buried in a coffin made of gold doesn't validate the ad. I wouldn't buy Embarq now if for no other reason than their misappropriation of history. Get it right if you're gonna' hang your hat on it.

So, while I'm hip with the various dopey yet catchy freecreditreport.com jingles, the Embarq one just irks me.

Kevin Smith Protests Dogma

OK. So regardless of what you might think about Kevin Smith, or Dogma, the movie he wrote and directed (and played Silent Bob in), this is pretty funny:

Updates on a few of the things I've written about

Well, it's not like I'm some sort of prescient person and know what the world is really thinking about... but there have been a few instances of things I write about in the last few months actually capturing some amount of world-wide attention. So this post is simply a note to the file on what happened.

Randy Pausch
Remember the post from a few months ago about the Last Lecture? Randy was diagnosed with cancer, fought a hell of a fight and along the way, delivered what many people consider to be the greatest inspirational speech of all time. He died on July 25, 2008. It's not only a tragedy for his wife and children... but also for the millions of people he was able (and will continue) to inspire.

McFly Nikes
Much less important than Randy, Nike actually responded to the cultural request of my generation and has released the Hyperdunks's. Here is info. And more info. And even more. Awesome. Now people are working on the auto-lacing mechanism.

Pandering to my Generation
Songs from the 80s continue to permeate the current cultural zeitgeist. Which isn't really saying much. In fact, with the Olympics on TV, I get the same round of commercials over and over and over and over and... oops, sorry. Stuck in a loop.

Anyways, what I was saying is that I get to see a lot of the same commercials. One of them is for JC Penny. The commercial's background music is Simple Minds' classic "Don't You (forget about me)" from one of my favorite movies, The Breakfast Club. The kids in the commercial are reenacting several of the scenes from the movie - and I turn to Tina and ask - "so, do you think the director had to explain to them: OK... now I want you to run down this hallway really fast, then do a floor-slide past the turn and run back towards the camera? Or do you think he just showed them the movie?"

But commercials aren't the only things participating in this recycling lifestyle. I actually saved money by getting digital cable the other day... which now gives me access to all of my favorite shows from my formative years. Emergency!, CHiPs, Quincy, Kojak, A-Team, Knight Rider (though the new series starts on 9/24!!!). But I realized that these shows, while all cutesily fatally flawed (it's really funny to see some of the "procedures" performed by John and Roy on Emergency! and compare them to what I learned as an EMT 19 years later), are really the genesis for almost all of TV today:

Emergency! is now ER or any other hospital/ambulance show
Quincy is CSI before they realized that people WANT to see the science
Kojak is The Shield; and Barney Miller is The Closer, Law and Order and any other cop show
A-Team is Burn Notice
Brady Bunch is now Jon & Kate Plus 8 (why invent what really exists?)
Knight Rider is now Knight Rider (some things have to be cloned exactly)

'llectuals

I grew up watching all sorts of shows about people my age trying to deal with life. The Facts of Life, 90201, then on to Melrose Place and Friends. Most of these shows had a fatal flaw. They were populated by self-centered, narcissistic, vapid characters.

Well, no more. Now's there's 'llectuals.

Toys

One of my favorite toys as a child (and yes, even as an adult), is Lego. The bricks are great fun for stress relief and they require at least some amount of imagination. I have sets back from the early 70s all the way to a pristine, in-the-box collection of all of the Harry Potter-related sets (I don't know why I'm keeping them in the box, other than to say I have them... maybe I'd let my kids play with them?).

But the toy villain from my youth has got to be the Rubik's Cube. They musta' released a billion versions of that thing in the 80s. And if 9 squares/side wasn't bad enough in about 10 different sizes (from microscopically small to desk-size large), the 12 square/side version (Rubik's Revenge, I believe it was called) was awful. Then they released them in ball-shaped versions, triangle-shaped versions... even a thing called the snake.

So I'm quite happy to see that someone took the time to build a Lego Mindstorms (computer-controlled Legos) set that is designed to solve a Rubik's Cube. It works by color-reading each side, generating a solution set and executing it. Check it out:

Flashpoint TV Show

There's a new show on CBS called Flashpoint. It's about hostage negotiators and snipers.

Now... I'm into negotiation, so you'd think that I'd love this show. I mean sure, the technology is cool - I wouldn't mind having someone assist every now and again with a voice in my ear while I'm in the middle of a negotiation... but the rest of the show just drags on.

To be honest, I was hoping for a little less talky-talky and a little more shooty-shooty.

Miss Universe Pageant Curse

So, tonight I was watching the 2008 Miss Universe pageant on TV (don't ask, it was the only thing on). Apparently, tonight was near the end, so there were 8 or so women left - evening gown competition time. Miss USA tripped down the initial step and fell flat on her butt. She was poised, got back up and kept moving as if it never happened.

Tina immediately wondered aloud how long it would take for video to appear on YouTube. So I went to look. Nope... not yet.

UPDATE (7/14/08): Video is now posted:


BUT, there WERE other videos of Miss USA 2007 at the Miss Universe 2007 pageant also falling on her butt.



So, two years in a row, the Miss USA contestant falls at the Miss Universe pageant during the evening gown portion of the event. Doesn't this qualify for some sort of curse, chant or other superstition?

More on Apple and customer service

About 2 years ago, I wrote a story about getting my PowerBook G4 fixed as a result of a hinge problem. At the time, I was indignant that Apple had a known defect in their product and wouldn't repair it for me. I spent some time in the AppleStore in Durham, NC (this was before the one in Raleigh opened) trying to see if they would assist under warranty... and they didn't. So my post was a result of my frustration at trying to get help for something I thought Apple should've taken care of, yet didn't.

However, I didn't lose my cool at the AppleStore, on the phone with Apple or anywhere else. If anything, I was mostly upset with myself and sad that I was going to have to pay a few hundred dollars for something I knew I was going to replace relatively soon.

Today I saw a post on Gizmodo about another guy who "Lost his S#?!" at the AppleStore in DC. It linked to a comic he wrote about the experience. (The comic is safe, but the comments afterwards are a little NSFW, so view this at home and away from young eyes).

Essentially, the guy had a very similar machine that I used to have... and he wanted to install a wireless card in it after purchase. He was upset that the screws on the machine weren't "standard" (they're TORX, which are, as you'll see from reading the comments, standard) and that he says he had trouble finding them at various stores (which people in the comments refute). He was upset that Apple wouldn't give him a screwdriver in the AppleStore to fix his own machine (for the same reasons that your auto mechanic won't let you use their tools to fix your car).

He ultimately lost his cool at the AppleStore and wrote the comic as a way to vent.

Now, per my other missives above, I do understand venting. I also understand being frustrated by a situation that I believe is somehow unfair.

But I do NOT take it out on others (Tina may disagree, since she hears me at home). So let me clarify... I don't take it out on the customer service person who really doesn't have much control over the situation.

[Update - about 3 seconds after hitting Publish]: OK... so I realize that by posting this little story, I'm probably perpetuating something that should just die. And, as Tina reminds me (man, I really love this girl) arguing with everyone I ever disagreed with isn't productive. Which, in turn, reminded me of one of my favorite comic artists of all time. So I'm converting this post from a semi-rant to a positive suggestion for you all to read XKCD.com on a regular basis. Here's one of Randall's drawings, completely on point.

Followup on Stolen Credit Card

I waited a few months before writing this... mostly because I was busy, but partially because I wanted to see how it all played out.

The long-story-short version of the stolen credit card saga is that one of the drivers of the limo service we used in Orlando was the culprit. They used the card to charge their household bills on (not very bright)... and they confessed once cornered.

I still need to followup with the DA on the case, as I asked to press charges. So we'll see what happens. So far, no restitution or anything like that.

The Last Lecture

The Force, Daddy-O

Pandering to my generation

I was walking with one of my MBA class teams through an open-air mall the other day (don't ask why... not relevant to the story). These types of malls always pipe-in music, and today's selection was "Maneater" by Hall & Oates. I mentioned that if getting older wasn't enough, I'd noticed that advertisers realized that I'm in my mid-thirty's too. I suppose they believe I have money to burn, because there are just WAY too many ads that use 80s music.

The lone female in the group says "So....... you must have all been born in the 70s, right?"

"Yes," we collectively reply. "When were you born?"

"1987."

Ouch.

Anyways, here's the list of songs that I've heard that are featured in various ads on TV and radio.

• "All Out of Love" - Air Supply - Denny's Breakfast
  
• "Blister in the Sun" - Violent Femmes - Wendy's
  
• "Cruel Summer" - Bananarama - Kellog's Special K
  
• "Da Da Da" - Trio - Volkswagen
  
• "Don't You Want Me" - Human League - Chips Ahoy
  
• "Final Countdown" - Europe - Nintendo Wii
  
• "Hungry Like The Wolf" - Duran Duran - Old Spice (my personal favorite because it also has Bruce Campbell singing it at a piano)
  
• "I Melt with You" - Modern English - Taco Bell Cheesy Melt
  
• "I Melt with You" - Modern English - GMC Acadia
  
• "I Want Candy" - Bow Wow Bow - Pringles
  
• "Love My Way" - Psychedelic Furs - CBS Cold Case teaser
  
• "Making Love Out of Nothing at All" - Air Supply - Wendy's
  
• "Maniac" - Michael Sambello - Kia
  
• "Money for Nothing" - Dire Straits - Toyota
  
• "One Thing Leads to Another" - The Fixx - LendingTree
  
• "Our House" - Madness - Maxwell House
  
• "Over the Rainbow" - Israel Kamakawiwo Ole - eToys.com
  
• "Rockit" - Herbie Hancock - Visa Checkcard
  
• "Tainted Love" - Soft Cell - Levi's (ok, this one is from a few years ago, where they bring a pair of jeans back to live... but still)
  
• "Talk" - Talk Talk - Cingular
  
• "Tarzan Boy" - Baltimora - Listerine (also from a few years ago)
  
• "We're Not Gonna Take It" - Twisted Sister - Bee Movie
  
• "Whip It" - Devo - Pringle's Pack-It
  

What other songs have you heard that bring a smile to your face, but don't really cause you to go buy any of their products?

Stolen Credit Card

I hate opening the credit card bill. Yeah, I know what's in there - we're pretty good about keeping track of that stuff. But I don't like the REMINDER of what we've spent our money on each month. So I, in true guy fashion, let Tina open it. I rationalize that since she pays the bills, she can review it - besides, if I charged something I didn't tell her about, she'll come to me, never worry about that.

But I knew this month was going to be unusually bad - vacations and work trips, etc. So I hesitantly opened it when I got home tonight. I saw all the suspects. But then a few I wasn't expecting.

Hmmm. Ok, so the first thing I do is try to think if there was something I ordered online that I just wasn't remembering. But I happened to also glance another line down and fail to recognize FIVE OTHER charges.

Crap. Someone's using our card.

I'm on the phone with our credit card company in a matter of seconds. By "on the phone" I really mean "on hold"... where I sat for 20 minutes - long enough for Tina to arrive home and find me fuming on the couch.

When a customer "service" rep finally answered, it was like talking to someone who was on their first night on the phones. Now, I'm sorry, but you should know better than to put that new of a person (or that untrained of a person) on the fraud line. Not to mention the 20 minutes where I was sitting there wondering if this was the quickest response they could possibly muster for calls coming in to tell them about stolen credit cards.

So my short fuse bottomed out and I asked for a supervisor. Another 10 minutes on hold and I got a pleasant woman - who now wanted to REVERIFY my personal information. [I've written before about the problem I have with call processing systems and the fact that they should EASILY pass along my "personal information" to the rep... and even if they have to verify it once, they shouldn't have to do it again.]

But I gave them the info and then explained that I had six charges that weren't ours. I said I knew approximately where and when the card numbers were swiped based on the locations of the charges. So we systematically went through them all. Then we canceled the current card and had a new set express shipped.

Next up? Calling the police in the location where the cards were used. Long story short, I have a feeling that the thief is getting a visit from the local PD tonight. Serves them right - for being so stupid as to use the credit cards to pay their bills - charges that have their name associated with each charge. Phone, electricity, cable, insurance, and the obligatory Rent-A-Center charge. What a dumbass.

But hey, at least the credit card company has already credited our account. And yes, for those of you paying attention, Apple now knows to bill another account so that I still get my MBP on time. ;)

However, all of this is a real pain. I still have at least 2 other recurring charges I have to manage to track down and change. I still have to follow up with the po-po in the next few days... and I have to research the civil laws of the state where the fraud actually happened to see if I have any recourse other than to assist their prosecutor in a criminal case.

What a waste of a Friday night.

Running for President

Do you remember being young? Ok, forget the fact that you still want to believe that 30-50 is young. I mean, REALLY young... the first 10 years of your life. Everything was based on age and it seemed that there were SO many things to do just 1 year away.

Here's the list I can think of.

"When you're ____, you look forward to ____."

9 ... 10 (double digits)
10 ... 13 (being a teenager)
13 ... 16 (learning to drive)
17 ... 18 (being able to vote - and registering for the draft if you're male, because it's ok for you to die for your country, but don't have the maturity to drink quite yet)
19 ... 20 (no longer being a teenager - which by then is WAY ripe)
20 ... 21 (being able to buy alcohol)
21 ... 22 (actually being OLDER than 21)
22 ... 25 (quarter century, can now be a US Representative)
25 ... 29 (don't quite want to be 30 yet)
29 ... 30 (ok, now it's time to be an "adult", can now be a US Senator)
30 ... 35 (halfway to the current estimated average human lifespan, can now be President)
35 ... 40 (now it's just a fight against time)
40 ... 50 (the big "5-0")
50 ... 55 (something to be said about being as old as the speed limit - 70s/80s version)
55 ... 60 (getting ready to retire?)
60 ... 65 (1990s+ speedlimit issue again)
65 ... 70 (if you're still healthy, you're pretty happy, I would hope)
70 ... 80 (trying to outlast your children? Naah... just want to see another generation of your progeny)
80 ... 100 (ok, at this point, you're just trying to stay alive to meet Willard Scott)

So, in 3 days, guess which one is me. Yep... and I think I want to run for President!

Oh, and don't think I haven't thought about staying alive forever.

Time to make the 'puter

I'm lucky that I have the type of career that lends itself to consulting. I'm also lucky enough to have a full-time gig that allows me to consult on the side (with some constraints). And I'm lucky enough that I have some folks that seek out my assistance on a pretty regular basis.

I say that I'm lucky because without the added income, I wouldn't be able to pay for many of my entertainment habits. Things like traveling, scuba diving, music/concerts, my guilty pleasure (PSP)... oh, and definitely not be able to afford a new computer.

Now, I'm not wasteful and I'm not always on the bleeding edge (as much as I would like to be). My existing laptop is a 5-year old Mac PowerBook G4, the so-called "TiBook." It's served me very well, aged well, traveled well... and has even survived hard drive replacement surgery about 8 months ago. But to be fair, that's a long time for a laptop (any laptop, for that matter).

I tend to be pretty good at making use of my computers. My first one was given to me as a gift in 1990 upon HS graduation. An IBM PS/2 Model 50Z (yep, that's it on the left). The thing was a real clunker about 6 months after it was purchased, it was outdated at the time of purchase as a result of IBM's own change in computer architecture (similar to the difference between having a leaded and unleaded automobile). But I made it last for three years.

I convinced my father to buy me a Compaq 850. A mini-tower (early in mini-tower designs), the Compaq seemed to scream compared to the IBM. I had the machine for about 2 years - when my love affair with Apple began.

Now, I've been an Apple fan for a long time. My dad bought us an Apple II back in the late 70s/early 80s, my brother had an SE/FDHD and then an LCII.












But I had never owned one. But I was working for the Valpo School District setting up hundreds of machines the summer before law school started and I simply fell head-over-heels with the intuitive user interface, the elegant design (keeping in mind that we're still talk about machines made in 1994) and the overall ease of use.

That year, Apple released the PowerBook 520c. From an industrial design perspective, many feel that the 520 was incredible. I was in love as soon as I got my hands on a school-owned one to set-up for the Superintendent. I didn't want to give it back. But at $2500, they weren't cheap and I didn't have that kind of cash.

A little begging and a written agreement later, a great friend agreed to loan me the money to buy it (thanks, Katherine A.). Man was I happy. A graphite body with a 9" color TFT (I believe) screen, two battery bays (which could be "exchanged" for other things), and a host of ports (SCSI, AppleTalk, Ethernet - which was relatively new at the time, serial, modem)... wow, I felt like I was the king!

Throughout law school, I plugged away on my 520. My classmates thought it was a joke, but I was able to do everything they were (perhaps with a little more effort). Even Lexis and Westlaw had Mac versions. As law school came to an end, the new WallStreet edition PowerBooks were out - HUGE (back then) screens at 12.1" and 14", sleek black designs with a large white apple etched in the lid... lust set in again, 3.5 (almost 4) years after I brought the 520 into my home.

Begging and pleading weren't necessary this time. I was about to start a job in 1998 which was going to require me to have a more powerful machine. The entire office was Mac-based, so it was easy to justify. I managed to use the machine through two full operating system upgrades (starting with System 8 then on to 9). I almost replaced it a few times along the way when Apple would release minor updates to the design.

First they made it thinner and more lightweight. They also "bronzed" the keyboard, which looked really cool. They added more memory, better processors, larger harddrives. Everything told me to buy one, but as had happened so many times in the past, I simply didn't have the cash.

In response, I added memory to my WallStreet. I bought a new battery or two (as it, like the 520, had two battery bays located under the keyboard - one of which would also accommodate an optical drive). I had started with the CD-ROM drive addon... and eventually got the DVD drive (and PCMCIA video processing card) instead. I maxed it out so to speak, but was devastated to learn that I wouldn't be able to install OSX on it when released by Apple... it just didn't have the power to run it well.

In late 2001, just as I felt I couldn't stand it any longer (since Apple had released the new TiBook design about a year earlier), I decided to take out an AppleLoan to buy myself one. The WallStreet was fading fast. Software was coming out for OSX instead of OS9 and I started feeling left behind far too much.

I selected a 500MHz TiBook with 512M of RAM and a 30GB harddrive. After a few hiccups with Apple, I eventually wound up with a 667MHz machine - and after spending a few more bucks, upped the RAM to a full Gig. Holy cow did this thing ROCK! It was beautiful, slippery almost. The apple on the lid even lit up (and was correctly oriented this time, as opposed to the logo on the WallStreet that was upside down when the lid was open and viewed from the back).

I vividly remember having to go to the UPS dropoff location to pick it up (as they wouldn't leave it at my house). I was so pissed - I could've had it a day earlier... but now I was going to get it on my way to an appointment. I grabbed it at the UPS location, immediately drove to BestBuy to get the additional RAM - and did a RAM swap in the front seat of my car! [Note: DO NOT DO THIS yourself. It was stupid of me to do - you can short out the memory via static buildup... I was just impatient and I knew better, but couldn't control myself. Don't be me.]

God I love that computer. But like it's predecessors, it's getting a bit long in the tooth and starting to show its age. The harddrive has just been the latest in a long list of things to be swapped, patched or replaced. It's needed new hinges, and on more than one occasion, I use Tina's clear nail polish to prevent more paint from wearing off from where my wrists rub the plastic repeatedly in front of the keyboard.

And oh, the lust. It began about a year ago. 17" screens on laptops! Can you believe it? Virtually double what I first had. Glossy displays that look almost fluid, combined with 2.4GHz Core2Duo processors (more than 8x faster than the TiBook).


Sigh.

I want one. I've wanted one for so long that Tina's virtually immune to my sighs. But she let on that if I had money that wasn't otherwise allocated to paying our budgeted bills (ie: from book sales, speaking or consulting engagements), I could save up and get a new computer. We even created a separate bank account to manage the "computer fund."

As you might imagine, every spare penny has been going into that account. As of a month ago, I was ready to buy. But now I can't.

See, Apple has a history of how they release machines. And in late May, early June, they released a "speed bump" to the current design (now called the MacBook Pro). Which indicates an interim patch until new designs are most likely expected to come out in January. If I were to buy a computer today and see a new design, or even faster ANYTHING in January, I'd cry - but only have myself to blame.

So I'm waiting. As patiently as I can.

Until then, if you see me with my TiBook (whose fan whines loudly when the processor is being overtaxed by all that I do on it), give it a small loving pat. It knows that the end is near, and I think it's crying. A little bit of me is, too. As it has for each of the hard-working Apples that have supported me.

In Memoriam

Michael Philip Gordon
September 7, 1976 - July 31, 2007
Michael Philip Gordon, 30, son of James and Anita Gordon, brother to Jeff and friend to many, passed away at 3:52am on July 31, 2007. A social critic from birth, Mike was gifted with charisma and compassion, attracting attention through both outlandish acts and kindheartedness. As children, Mike and I would and did fight about almost every aspect of our lives. From music and movies to clothing and our parents, we rarely saw eye-to-eye. In recent years though, we finally became friends - able to respect the other's choices, even if we did not fully understand them. Mike will be missed most for the gusto and uniqueness he brought to his life and those lives that he touched.

Thriller

In my lifetime, there are few things I remember more clearly than the first time I saw the full Thriller video. I remember convincing my dad to let me stay up late (it was a midnight show) telling him that it was only a 4 minute song or so (but then having to block him from turning off the TV as the mini-movie approached the 15 minute mark).

Vincent Price's monologue "the foulest stench is in the air... the funk of 40,000 years..." rings in my head even today.

So here's something that I never thought I would see. An awesome reinactment of the dance sequence - as performed by a 100% male group of Filipino prisoners.



Tina pointed out some things to consider:

1. It takes an amazing amount of leadership and coordination to have put this together... and probably not something you'd ever see in a US prison.

2. All of the visible performers seemed to be of average build (ie: not emaciated, but definitely NOT overweight). A quick look to any slice of american life would not yield a similar perspective.

3. It also requires a lot of creativity - again not something you tend to think of when you think of jail.

Tina thinks that Donald Trump should contact the person who led this group and invite them to be on the next Apprentice. I agree.

Painting

Some people really hate painting. No, I don't mean portraits, landscapes or still lifes. I'm talking about walls, ceilings, siding, decks, etc. I, on the other hand, find it fairly relaxing given the right circumstances.

And by right circumstances, I mean that I'm in a properly ventilated place (don't like the smell, really), properly air conditioned place (don't like being overheated) and properly clean place (dang I hate "gunk" getting on my nice newly painted surface). Oh... did I mention that I want it prepped for me, too, so that I don't have to tape any and all surfaces that I'm not painting?

Hmmm... sounds like I really don't like painting after all. But that's not true. I really do find it relaxing, and quite satisfying. As my career is in the realm of grey-areas - places where you never really know if you have "finished" or have "done a good job" (because in my world, if I do a good job, you NEVER find out as nothing ever happens as a result that can't be resolved with the language in the contract), painting is a way for me to have a task that I can FINISH. A task that, once completed, can be looked at with admiration. A task which someone with almost no skill in the task can review and say "wow... that looks good."

With the house, we had to paint the kitchen first. That meant stripping the ugly wallpaper. I tried just about every "easy" method first. Water alone... wait... try to pull? Nope, that didn't work. Hot steam? Nope (see pic).

Next up was going to be chemicals. Remember though, that I don't like weird smells (maybe that's part of my picky eating problem... hmmm... will have to consider later). So I got a "scorer"... a tool that you run over the wall repeatedly that punches small holes in the wall paper without destroying the underlying drywall. Then you wet down the surface with the chemical and wait. But I decided to try plain water first. Voila! And I was able to strip the wallpaper with relative ease (ok, Tina helped some, too). Painting was then a pretty quick activity... and now we have a blue kitchen.

The other day, I decided that our front stoop looked pretty bad. We have neighborhood standards for things looking nice out front. So I sanded the heck out of it, painted it white... even broke out my mad military school skills and shined the brass numbers to a glisten. And I was happy. Except that I stopped at about head-height and really needed to paint the entire front porch area. Oops. I guess I'll come back to that later.

Two days ago, I thought the mailbox needed help, too. THREE HOURS later, in the dark (cuz I had to start after I got home from work), I was putting the numbers back on the post. I didn't get to see my handiwork until yesterday morning... when I noticed that a bird had already christened the new paint job. Maybe I need to install those little spikey things.

April's Fools

I monitor/read about 100 blogs. Many are either technology or law-related - and these days, entire blogs consist of posting links to other posts on other interesting blogs. Of course, RSS has made this almost too easy - firing up one application that systematically checks them all for new posts. And, as one would expect, there are several posts that I see on a regular basis that "make" the rounds of a particular type of blog (for example, the Apple iPhone announcements are always seen on a dozen or more blogs, after each individual whisper from Cupertino).

I figured that most, if not all, would include some form of April Fool's joke. Us geeks tend to like creative humor. A silly comment, a made up something-or-other.

What I didn't guess is that several of them would report Google's AF joke as a post on their own site. At least 6 have now commented on TiSP. Why?

Another 2 have commented on Crunchgear. Again, why? Do you think that we only read your blog to the exclusion of all of the others? Were RSS not available, I suppose that might happen. But really.

To Google and Crunchgear, good show. To the others - well, um, ah....

Dreams

I've had some really funky dreams recently. I don't normally remember them in detail more than 30 minutes or so after I wake up... but I do remember that they were weird.

Hanging out with Tina the other day, I mentioned these dreams, and that I had a fairly odd dream-restriction. I can only dream about things that I've actually done in real life - with one exception (sometimes I dream that I can fly).

So, before I went skydiving, I never dreamed about skydiving... but once I finally tossed myself out of a perfectly good airplane, I was able (and did once) to have a dream where I skydove(?). Or, when I was a kid, I realized that I never would have dreams about things like being able to drive... or be older... I was restricted to my actual experience in life.

Generally speaking, I consider myself fairly creative, so I don't think it's a lack of an ability to imagine something I've never done. And, as I said, I've dreamed about flying (though it's more like an ability to swim in the air, using my hands to "push" the atmosphere around me).

Anyone else similarly limited?

Volvo's latest ads

So I'm sitting here watching the Duke/Clemson game with Tina. And in the span of two commercial breaks, there are three ads for the new Volvo S80. To summarize the three:

1. Driver of the S80 is rapidly approaching a car in its lane, apparently too fast. The collision detection system goes off, the driver of the S80 swerves around the other car (which appears to have been going the speed limit. The advertising voice says something about how nice it is to have a car that cares about you.

2. Driver of the S80 is rapidly approaching a car in its lane. S80 driver looks away from the road. The collision detection system goes off, the driver of the S80 looks back and sees the rear bumper coming up quickly, so they press on the brake. The advertising voice says something to the effect that "thank god that the S80 has this system to pay attention when you don't".

3. Owner of the S80 is walking towards their car, which is sitting quietly in a dark empty parking lot. The keyfob has a heartbeat sensor which lets the owner know that someone's in the car so that the owner can know an intruder is in the vehicle.

OK... two quick questions. If this car is so friggin' great, why didn't the alarm system go off? And why should the car look out for inattentive drivers? Where's MY warning that someone's driving an S80?

Crazy.

what is this world coming to?

Has anyone else recognized the similarity between Stephen King's The Running Man (and the Richard Dawson host on the fictional gameshow) and William Shatner and his new gameshow Show Me the Money?

Woah.

RandomMoments

I watch a lot of TV and movies. More than I should, I suppose. TiVo will go down as one of the best inventions of my lifetime.

But I'm curious.

Who actually has those perfect TV/movie moments in their life?

You know the ones I'm talking about. Where the guy and girl are sitting together having that instant karmic connection. Where the athlete runs faster, jumps higher, plays longer or through the pain to win the gold. Where the worker gets the big career move that they actually deserve. Any of those.

Because I don't know where or when they happen. I don't know anyone who has them - but I know that I don't get them.

Or... maybe I do.

Maybe the moments in my life are the TV/movie moments for someone else's life.

Comparisons are tricky

When people don't understand what I'm trying to tell them in a negotiation, I often resort to the use of an analogy. The idea is that if I can't gain understanding on the actual words, let's shoot for understanding on the concepts. Once we get to that point, we'll go back to the language and work out the details.

These types of comparisons can become quite difficult and quite involved, especially when you're dealing with discussions on technologies that are new or not fully realized yet. But yesterday, I realized that comparisons, even at a very fundamental level, can be just as sticky.

Guy Kawasaki, the original Mac Evangelist, has become an incredible business person. He's well known, well respected, and like many others, writes a blog where he usually discusses various business topics. The other day, he linked to the TED conference presentations that are available for online viewing. Admitedly, these are some of the world's brightest people talking about many of the world's most pressing problems.

Guy's post, however, was specifically about one of the presenters, whom he compared to Steve Jobs in terms of presentation abilities. Now, I don't know Steve. Guy, however, does. Personally. So, when I read that headline and the article, I went back to the TED page to view this presenter (whom I hadn't gotten to quite yet), because Steve's pretty good.

And to be fair, I was impressed by her passion and said so in a comment on Guy's blog - but her presentation style left much to be desired. The other commentors also were split about how they felt. Some had similar feelings as I did, some agreed with Guy. I finally realized the danger of comparison (and was reminded of the danger of having serious conversations in an online format) while reading the comments again this morning to see what had been posted overnight.

One person, Splashman, stated: "I must again point out that Guy's comparison of Majora to Steve is unqualified. That means he didn't say, "Majora is better in a couple of areas." He didn't say, "Majora would be better than Steve if she had the same support and 20 years' practice." The title of his post is "As good as Steve Jobs." And nothing in the body of the post gives the impression that he is qualifying the comparison."

So, it wasn't so much that the comparison was made, but the weight given to the comparison by the original author as well as by the reader of the comparison. Had it been me making the comparison, would readers have reacted in the same way? I don't think so. Since I don't know Steve. Since I wasn't at TED. Since I'm not Guy.

I personally went to listen to the presentation because Guy said it was good. In my opinion, it wasn't, regardless of whether the topic was relevant, important and the speaker was passionate. My opinion of Guy's opinion won't be tarnished because of this difference. But I can see where it could happen that some people would decrease the level of credence they give to Guy based on this difference.

The lesson here is that while analogies or other comparisons are good, negative weighted opinions can block understanding at best, and at worst, sway things in an opposite direction than what was desired. I gave Guy's opinion the benefit of the doubt I had about the presenter because I trusted his opinion. The fact that I now disagree with his opinion could have caused me to discount other opinions he holds or shares. If this was a negotiation, this becomes a trust issue - which is never a good problem to have.

So I'll continue to read Guy's blog. If for no other reason than the fact that my respect for Guy isn't based on his opinions, it's based on his actions... and the fact that someone says something that I personally disagree with doesn't mean that I discount their opinion (even if I think it's wrong ).

YardSale

Today was the day that we finally got rid of all of the duplicate, triplicate or other items that we had but no longer had use for.

It's been a long time coming, actually, and Tina's been more in favor of the sale and getting the stuff out of our garage. But I agree that having boxes and boxes of unused stuff just sitting around made no sense. So with some advertisements placed in online and in the local paper... and some free signs obtained at Office Max (in fact, check your local Office Max now to see if they still have Avery signs for free - 1 per customer per visit)... and a lot of effort to sort and tag our stuff... we were ready for our first YardSale(TM).

I guess I'm not really clear on the YardSale(TM) rules. We were pretty clear that the sale was going to run from 8am-noon. It said so in the ads. It said so on the signs. We got up at 6am. Almost immediately, we were outside, moving the cars, getting stuff moved to the lawn and out of the garage.

It wasn't more than 30 minutes later that the first car came slowly crusing by, scouting the situation. And about 4 minutes after that, we had our first buyer. She went poking around and we weren't event getting the stuff out fast enough. We simply couldn't believe it! I wonder if these are the same people that show up to a Wal-Mart hours before the store opens (those that aren't already open 24 hours/day, I suppose) when a new toy is being released. I dunno.

The next thing I don't understand is about pricing. Now, I'm no stranger to negotiation... and I'm no stranger to wanting to save a buck (see the previous post, for example). But who negotiates over a DOLLAR? Yes, that's right... a SINGLE DOLLAR. And not just a dollar, but over fifty cents. And over twenty-five cents. And over the smallest amounts of money for decent stuff!

I couldn't believe this, either. I was so stunned that in many cases, I simply accepted the buyers offer simply because in my head, I didn't see $.50 as a huge decrease in price. And it would only hit me later that I was cutting 50% off the price... and not just taking fifty cents off a thousand-dollar transaction. It was totally surreal at times. So I started just calling for Tina every time people wanted to know if we'd accept a lower price.

But, as Tina just reminded me, this wasn't about ME, it was about the buyer. They come to these sales just looking for a bargain... and they're determined to get one, too. Maybe, if this is the only place where they can find a "deal", this is how they can feel better about things. Again, I dunno'. The simple question on this is whether people are just looking to save money off the listed price or whether they actually are looking for cheap stuff. In other words, if we priced things higher, would they have settled for the price WE wanted and not on a bargain-basement price? I suggest to the next person having a YardSale(TM) that they price things closer to retail... you can always lower your price later. :)

Late in the morning, we were talking with a neighbor who very succinctly stated that some people are simply addicted to the YardSale(TM). And I suppose she might be right. Because at the very end of the sale hours, right about 11:55a, we had our last customer arrive. Driving up in a nice vehicle and looking like any other average 40-something male, this gentleman proceeded to review EVERYTHING we still had out on the lawn.

I don't mean to say that he just perused. He was ACTIVELY looking for something. Anything. Everything. And about 30 minutes later, as he was leaving with a light fixture, several pieces of women's clothing, shirts, shoes and a picture frame, did I get the courage to ask him what he was going to do with all of his purchases. Now, understand that I hadn't asked anyone else this type of invasive question. But I was really curious and it just got the best of me.

His response? He was taking these items to a consignment store for resale. Wow. I simply hadn't considered that people would buy stuff from us to resell it later somewhere else. Well... I guess everyone wants to make money and this was his way. Far be it from me to slam it. I just don't understand. Add it to the list, I guess.

Addiction to Logic Games

I used to hate logic games. You know... there are 4 puppets, each is a different animal and each has a different name. Each puppet also has a chief puppeteer and an assistant puppeteer. Based on the sketchy following information, you now need to be able to know which puppet is which and is controlled by which puppeteers.

Man I hated those things. Then, during preparation for my LSAT, I discovered that I needed to learn how to do them successfully if I wanted a prayer of attending law school. So I learned how to do them. But that didn't mean I was going to LIKE them!

Flash forward 12 years. I do Sudokus almost every day. I love puzzles (well, ok, I love almost all puzzles) and solving them gives me a great deal of satisfaction.

But logic puzzles still bother me. I never really liked them then and now they bring LSAT flashbacks. But tonight, Tina decided to play an online logic puzzle. Grabbing a pen and paper, I quickly decided that I wanted to join in and see if I could still do them.

And wadda' know? I can still do them.

That one was enough to last me another 12 years.

See ya' again in 2018. :)

nothing like a good friend to smack you upside your head

I shared my recent news with a really good friend yesterday. I was lamenting about how this was going to affect the whole family and that it was a lot to deal with. I basically said I didn't know how to handle this and what I should do.

It took her all of about 30 seconds to say "it's not about you."

Well, no kidding... I know/knew that. But the reminder was very important to hear.

Thanks, C.

the aftermath

So it's T-cell+1 (sorry, bad joke, but that's about all I'm capable of at the moment). I have now had a single day to digest the facts about what might happen to my family member. I feel no closer to any kind of conclusion than I did yesterday at this time. Which really sucks.

But here's what I know. I know that HIV can kill quickly if not taken care of. And while this family member, in their heart, believes that they'll live 10-15 years with the virus, the truth is that I don't think they have the responsibility level necessary to stay on the drug therapies and do the required acts necessary to prolong your life that long.

First, they are already an addict... and additional medications will wreak havoc with their social playtime. In fact, they currently don't take the required meds for their other medical maladies because it intereferes with the high. Which means that even if they were OPEN to the idea of taking the cocktails, they simply won't do it.

Second, if they were willing to take the meds, they are also the type of person to believe they are impervious to the badness that would come with an overabundance of the meds. They would think that they are somehow super-person and that they could beat the virus simply by taking ALL of the meds all at one time. So they would, in essence, survive the virus only to be eliminated by the meds.

Third, there's always the chance that they'll get the meds (which, btw, will come through Medicaid as they don't have health insurance), and then sell them on the street because they're not the exact same meds that their friends have or that they believe will work best.

Fourth, I also believe that they will simply not want to be on the meds, or will forget to take them... or will somehow otherwise not take them.

All in all, I don't think that this person is going to make the 10-15 year lifespan they believe they will. And in talking with experts on the subject, there's a pretty good chance that they'll be dead in a year. :(

Damn.

afternoon phone calls

So I'm riding with Tina back to work after having lunch together and my phone beeps with a message that I need to call back a number I've never seen before.

But I'm a sucker... so I call. And it's a close family member calling.

I know, based on prior behavior, that the fact of the call means that it's bad news. And I'm right.

I am now related to someone with HIV.

To my afflicted family member: I'm really sorry. :( I love you more than you'll ever know and I wish there was something I could do to make this go away.

politics

Jim Crow laws were wrong. They are wrong today and they were wrong 50 years ago. Arrests made under those laws were just as wrong. Rosa Parks (and the many men and women who came before and after her) are heros because they stood up and announced to the world that those laws were wrong.

Today, some folks are still looking to apologize in some way (as we should - and oh, btw, as long as we're talking about this... let's just say it all... we have to start with a very obviously missing "We're SORRY!"). And the latest attempt is pardoning those people who were wrongly arrested, starting with Parks. For those folks who are still alive and for whom the pardon would erase their "criminal" history, that's great and they should receive one. In many cases, however, the pardon comes 50+ years TOO DAMN LATE!

For example, Lillie Mae Bradford (now 75) has suffered the effects of an arrest record since 1951. Yes, she wants a pardon and should be granted one. But that's still not going to undo the injustice suffered for the last 55 years. It's not going to make her career better now (she had trouble landing government jobs because of the record). All we (and I'm speaking for the average white citizen here) are doing is trying to appease our conscience.

And if that's what "we" want to do... start with a sincere apology. Then fix the friggin' problem (which STILL exists in many parts of this country).

For an "advanced" society, we're still pretty messed up.

complaining

I don't want to make a habit of complaining... it just doesn't ever seem to solve the underlying problem.

But why in the world do people think that being pissy is going to somehow be manageable, especially in the workplace?

I had a thought today at work... researched it, had a possible methodology... and then took it to the person who was responsible for maintaining the existing process (keeping in mind that this person doesn't actually own the relationship... they're merely a middleman).

This person then proceeded to rain on the parade. It won't work because... We've already looked at things similar to that... If we ever did anything different than what we are currently doing, it wouldn't be that...

I just don't get it. Why wouldn't you just listen?