(Note: This is a cross-over blogisode – meaning that it’s the same post here as on the Wedblog with minor differences. Thanks for playing along.)

Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!

I’m tired of addressing wedding invitations.

My fingers feel like they’re going to fall off. But at least the outside envelopes are done, now to do the insides.

What’s that you say? Why am I doing it by hand? What possessed me to grab a caligraphy pen and hand-write 200 or so invitations?

Well, I’m a sadist, really. And I’m cheap. An addressing service (yes, folks, there are people paid to address envelopes) will do it for about $1.50/envelope. This includes the outer envelope – the one with:

Mr. and Mrs. Full-first-name-middle-name-last-name
Fully spelled out street address
Fully spelled out city, state and zipcode

And the inner envelope:

First name of each adult on the first line
First name of each child on the second line

But as I’m only done with the outer envelopes, I still have to repeat the process with the inners. Sound simple? Sure. Simple for me? Of course not.

First we had to order the invitations – you can read about some of that adventure on our WedBlog. We paid a little extra so the envelopes would arrive sooner than everything else (with the idea being that I would actually get started addressing them sooner. I tried.

I say, “I tried,” because my first few envelopes were done with a caligraphy marker… and without me knowing that I was supposed to be doing the full-name-no-abbreviation thing apparently required by formal southern tradition. OH, and I had wanted to do the caligraphy in purple. Apparently, only black is the allowed color. Oops.

So first was a trip to get black caligraphy markers. I came back, did a few envelopes and Tina then informed me (after an hour of addressing) that while these were fine for my friends, it wasn’t going to work for her family. I realized that this meant that I was doing it wrong for everyone and was going to have to go back to the store.

See, the marker has a wide tip. I needed to see if there was a smaller version. I found two more black caligraphy markers and returned home to discover that nope, they’re the same size. Which meant that I just wasn’t going to be able to use markers for this. I was going to have to (insert dramatic pause here)… buy a real caligraphy pen. (I also had to get a “light box” – a little translucent table with a nightlight installed under it – so that I could project guidelines drawn on a piece of paper inserted into the envelopes. This way, it appears that I’m really great at making letters of equal height and in a straight line.)

Three guesses on who doesn’t know the first thing about caligraphy pens but had to learn quickly while standing in the aisle of the store! 🙂

Yes, I found what I thought I wanted, went home and opened the box. These pens aren’t the $2 bizillion pens that they used to use for nice writing. They’re idiot-proof pens for people like me. I followed the directions to insert the ink cartridge, attach the right “nib” and tried to start the ink flow.

Hmmmm… no ink flowing. I wrote with a down-stroke, an up-stroke, a side-to-side stroke. No flow. I tried a damp paper towel to help siphon the ink down the nip (this is a real suggestion made on the instruction sheet… I didn’t just make it up myself). No flow. I tried shaking the pen. No flow. Finally, I shook the pen in sharp downward motions (like I was ‘resetting’ a thermometer) and then used the paper towel method. Flow.

Now I started addressing. It’s an amazing thing to see how small I can get the letters with a real pen.

And today, two weeks after I started (and LONG after the rest of the invitations arrived thus showing us that we wasted a bit of cash on the envelope rush order), the outer envelopes are complete. But only because I did 80 of them yesterday.

So my fingers feel like they’re going to shrivel up and fall off.