Category: life

Volvo’s latest ads

So I’m sitting here watching the Duke/Clemson game with Tina. And in the span of two commercial breaks, there are three ads for the new Volvo S80. To summarize the three:

1. Driver of the S80 is rapidly approaching a car in its lane, apparently too fast. The collision detection system goes off, the driver of the S80 swerves around the other car (which appears to have been going the speed limit. The advertising voice says something about how nice it is to have a car that cares about you.

2. Driver of the S80 is rapidly approaching a car in its lane. S80 driver looks away from the road. The collision detection system goes off, the driver of the S80 looks back and sees the rear bumper coming up quickly, so they press on the brake. The advertising voice says something to the effect that “thank god that the S80 has this system to pay attention when you don’t”.

3. Owner of the S80 is walking towards their car, which is sitting quietly in a dark empty parking lot. The keyfob has a heartbeat sensor which lets the owner know that someone’s in the car so that the owner can know an intruder is in the vehicle.

OK… two quick questions. If this car is so friggin’ great, why didn’t the alarm system go off? And why should the car look out for inattentive drivers? Where’s MY warning that someone’s driving an S80?

Crazy.

RandomMoments

I watch a lot of TV and movies. More than I should, I suppose. TiVo will go down as one of the best inventions of my lifetime.

But I’m curious.

Who actually has those perfect TV/movie moments in their life?

You know the ones I’m talking about. Where the guy and girl are sitting together having that instant karmic connection. Where the athlete runs faster, jumps higher, plays longer or through the pain to win the gold. Where the worker gets the big career move that they actually deserve. Any of those.

Because I don’t know where or when they happen. I don’t know anyone who has them – but I know that I don’t get them.

Or… maybe I do.

Maybe the moments in my life are the TV/movie moments for someone else’s life.

Comparisons are tricky

When people don’t understand what I’m trying to tell them in a negotiation, I often resort to the use of an analogy. The idea is that if I can’t gain understanding on the actual words, let’s shoot for understanding on the concepts. Once we get to that point, we’ll go back to the language and work out the details.

These types of comparisons can become quite difficult and quite involved, especially when you’re dealing with discussions on technologies that are new or not fully realized yet. But yesterday, I realized that comparisons, even at a very fundamental level, can be just as sticky.

Guy Kawasaki, the original Mac Evangelist, has become an incredible business person. He’s well known, well respected, and like many others, writes a blog where he usually discusses various business topics. The other day, he linked to the TED conference presentations that are available for online viewing. Admitedly, these are some of the world’s brightest people talking about many of the world’s most pressing problems.

Guy’s post, however, was specifically about one of the presenters, whom he compared to Steve Jobs in terms of presentation abilities. Now, I don’t know Steve. Guy, however, does. Personally. So, when I read that headline and the article, I went back to the TED page to view this presenter (whom I hadn’t gotten to quite yet), because Steve’s pretty good.

And to be fair, I was impressed by her passion and said so in a comment on Guy’s blog – but her presentation style left much to be desired. The other commentors also were split about how they felt. Some had similar feelings as I did, some agreed with Guy. I finally realized the danger of comparison (and was reminded of the danger of having serious conversations in an online format) while reading the comments again this morning to see what had been posted overnight.

One person, Splashman, stated: “I must again point out that Guy’s comparison of Majora to Steve is unqualified. That means he didn’t say, “Majora is better in a couple of areas.” He didn’t say, “Majora would be better than Steve if she had the same support and 20 years’ practice.” The title of his post is “As good as Steve Jobs.” And nothing in the body of the post gives the impression that he is qualifying the comparison.”

So, it wasn’t so much that the comparison was made, but the weight given to the comparison by the original author as well as by the reader of the comparison. Had it been me making the comparison, would readers have reacted in the same way? I don’t think so. Since I don’t know Steve. Since I wasn’t at TED. Since I’m not Guy.

I personally went to listen to the presentation because Guy said it was good. In my opinion, it wasn’t, regardless of whether the topic was relevant, important and the speaker was passionate. My opinion of Guy’s opinion won’t be tarnished because of this difference. But I can see where it could happen that some people would decrease the level of credence they give to Guy based on this difference.

The lesson here is that while analogies or other comparisons are good, negative weighted opinions can block understanding at best, and at worst, sway things in an opposite direction than what was desired. I gave Guy’s opinion the benefit of the doubt I had about the presenter because I trusted his opinion. The fact that I now disagree with his opinion could have caused me to discount other opinions he holds or shares. If this was a negotiation, this becomes a trust issue – which is never a good problem to have.

So I’ll continue to read Guy’s blog. If for no other reason than the fact that my respect for Guy isn’t based on his opinions, it’s based on his actions… and the fact that someone says something that I personally disagree with doesn’t mean that I discount their opinion (even if I think it’s wrong ).

YardSale

Today was the day that we finally got rid of all of the duplicate, triplicate or other items that we had but no longer had use for.

It’s been a long time coming, actually, and Tina’s been more in favor of the sale and getting the stuff out of our garage. But I agree that having boxes and boxes of unused stuff just sitting around made no sense. So with some advertisements placed in online and in the local paper… and some free signs obtained at Office Max (in fact, check your local Office Max now to see if they still have Avery signs for free – 1 per customer per visit)… and a lot of effort to sort and tag our stuff… we were ready for our first YardSale(TM).

I guess I’m not really clear on the YardSale(TM) rules. We were pretty clear that the sale was going to run from 8am-noon. It said so in the ads. It said so on the signs. We got up at 6am. Almost immediately, we were outside, moving the cars, getting stuff moved to the lawn and out of the garage.

It wasn’t more than 30 minutes later that the first car came slowly crusing by, scouting the situation. And about 4 minutes after that, we had our first buyer. She went poking around and we weren’t event getting the stuff out fast enough. We simply couldn’t believe it! I wonder if these are the same people that show up to a Wal-Mart hours before the store opens (those that aren’t already open 24 hours/day, I suppose) when a new toy is being released. I dunno.

The next thing I don’t understand is about pricing. Now, I’m no stranger to negotiation… and I’m no stranger to wanting to save a buck (see the previous post, for example). But who negotiates over a DOLLAR? Yes, that’s right… a SINGLE DOLLAR. And not just a dollar, but over fifty cents. And over twenty-five cents. And over the smallest amounts of money for decent stuff!

I couldn’t believe this, either. I was so stunned that in many cases, I simply accepted the buyers offer simply because in my head, I didn’t see $.50 as a huge decrease in price. And it would only hit me later that I was cutting 50% off the price… and not just taking fifty cents off a thousand-dollar transaction. It was totally surreal at times. So I started just calling for Tina every time people wanted to know if we’d accept a lower price.

But, as Tina just reminded me, this wasn’t about ME, it was about the buyer. They come to these sales just looking for a bargain… and they’re determined to get one, too. Maybe, if this is the only place where they can find a “deal”, this is how they can feel better about things. Again, I dunno’. The simple question on this is whether people are just looking to save money off the listed price or whether they actually are looking for cheap stuff. In other words, if we priced things higher, would they have settled for the price WE wanted and not on a bargain-basement price? I suggest to the next person having a YardSale(TM) that they price things closer to retail… you can always lower your price later. 🙂

Late in the morning, we were talking with a neighbor who very succinctly stated that some people are simply addicted to the YardSale(TM). And I suppose she might be right. Because at the very end of the sale hours, right about 11:55a, we had our last customer arrive. Driving up in a nice vehicle and looking like any other average 40-something male, this gentleman proceeded to review EVERYTHING we still had out on the lawn.

I don’t mean to say that he just perused. He was ACTIVELY looking for something. Anything. Everything. And about 30 minutes later, as he was leaving with a light fixture, several pieces of women’s clothing, shirts, shoes and a picture frame, did I get the courage to ask him what he was going to do with all of his purchases. Now, understand that I hadn’t asked anyone else this type of invasive question. But I was really curious and it just got the best of me.

His response? He was taking these items to a consignment store for resale. Wow. I simply hadn’t considered that people would buy stuff from us to resell it later somewhere else. Well… I guess everyone wants to make money and this was his way. Far be it from me to slam it. I just don’t understand. Add it to the list, I guess.

Addiction to Logic Games

I used to hate logic games. You know… there are 4 puppets, each is a different animal and each has a different name. Each puppet also has a chief puppeteer and an assistant puppeteer. Based on the sketchy following information, you now need to be able to know which puppet is which and is controlled by which puppeteers.

Man I hated those things. Then, during preparation for my LSAT, I discovered that I needed to learn how to do them successfully if I wanted a prayer of attending law school. So I learned how to do them. But that didn’t mean I was going to LIKE them!

Flash forward 12 years. I do Sudokus almost every day. I love puzzles (well, ok, I love almost all puzzles) and solving them gives me a great deal of satisfaction.

But logic puzzles still bother me. I never really liked them then and now they bring LSAT flashbacks. But tonight, Tina decided to play an online logic puzzle. Grabbing a pen and paper, I quickly decided that I wanted to join in and see if I could still do them.

And wadda’ know? I can still do them.

That one was enough to last me another 12 years.

See ya’ again in 2018. 🙂

nothing like a good friend to smack you upside your head

I shared my recent news with a really good friend yesterday. I was lamenting about how this was going to affect the whole family and that it was a lot to deal with. I basically said I didn’t know how to handle this and what I should do.

It took her all of about 30 seconds to say “it’s not about you.”

Well, no kidding… I know/knew that. But the reminder was very important to hear.

Thanks, C.

the aftermath

So it’s T-cell+1 (sorry, bad joke, but that’s about all I’m capable of at the moment). I have now had a single day to digest the facts about what might happen to my family member. I feel no closer to any kind of conclusion than I did yesterday at this time. Which really sucks.

But here’s what I know. I know that HIV can kill quickly if not taken care of. And while this family member, in their heart, believes that they’ll live 10-15 years with the virus, the truth is that I don’t think they have the responsibility level necessary to stay on the drug therapies and do the required acts necessary to prolong your life that long.

First, they are already an addict… and additional medications will wreak havoc with their social playtime. In fact, they currently don’t take the required meds for their other medical maladies because it intereferes with the high. Which means that even if they were OPEN to the idea of taking the cocktails, they simply won’t do it.

Second, if they were willing to take the meds, they are also the type of person to believe they are impervious to the badness that would come with an overabundance of the meds. They would think that they are somehow super-person and that they could beat the virus simply by taking ALL of the meds all at one time. So they would, in essence, survive the virus only to be eliminated by the meds.

Third, there’s always the chance that they’ll get the meds (which, btw, will come through Medicaid as they don’t have health insurance), and then sell them on the street because they’re not the exact same meds that their friends have or that they believe will work best.

Fourth, I also believe that they will simply not want to be on the meds, or will forget to take them… or will somehow otherwise not take them.

All in all, I don’t think that this person is going to make the 10-15 year lifespan they believe they will. And in talking with experts on the subject, there’s a pretty good chance that they’ll be dead in a year. 🙁

Damn.

afternoon phone calls

So I’m riding with Tina back to work after having lunch together and my phone beeps with a message that I need to call back a number I’ve never seen before.

But I’m a sucker… so I call. And it’s a close family member calling.

I know, based on prior behavior, that the fact of the call means that it’s bad news. And I’m right.

I am now related to someone with HIV.

To my afflicted family member: I’m really sorry. 🙁 I love you more than you’ll ever know and I wish there was something I could do to make this go away.

politics

Jim Crow laws were wrong. They are wrong today and they were wrong 50 years ago. Arrests made under those laws were just as wrong. Rosa Parks (and the many men and women who came before and after her) are heros because they stood up and announced to the world that those laws were wrong.

Today, some folks are still looking to apologize in some way (as we should – and oh, btw, as long as we’re talking about this… let’s just say it all… we have to start with a very obviously missing “We’re SORRY!”). And the latest attempt is pardoning those people who were wrongly arrested, starting with Parks. For those folks who are still alive and for whom the pardon would erase their “criminal” history, that’s great and they should receive one. In many cases, however, the pardon comes 50+ years TOO DAMN LATE!

For example, Lillie Mae Bradford (now 75) has suffered the effects of an arrest record since 1951. Yes, she wants a pardon and should be granted one. But that’s still not going to undo the injustice suffered for the last 55 years. It’s not going to make her career better now (she had trouble landing government jobs because of the record). All we (and I’m speaking for the average white citizen here) are doing is trying to appease our conscience.

And if that’s what “we” want to do… start with a sincere apology. Then fix the friggin’ problem (which STILL exists in many parts of this country).

For an “advanced” society, we’re still pretty messed up.